This is the second is a series of reviews of coach’s shows. The first was Urban Meyer’s show.
Official Name: The Bobby Bowden Show
Episode Reviewed: After the Clemson game
Theme Music: Syncopated strings in a minor key with light, electronic percussion
Co-Host: Gene Deckerhoff, voice of FSU football and basketball; voice of the Tampa Bay Bucs
It’s a flyby of a 3D virtual model of Doak Campbell with a strange color filter and focus blur. I think they spent more money on this intro than the rest of the show combined.
This is literally the only frame where the show’s logo is centered. It quickly gets out of the way to show logos of the show’s corporate
overlords sponsors. Again with the amber color scheme.
This is the first sight that greeted you on that Sunday after the Clemson loss. I apologize if your computer screen just broke.
That’s right, it’s a green screen! It’s a desk with red trim and a green screen. The graphic behind them is supposed to look futuristic, I suppose, what with the rounded walls and Millennium Falcon turret-like window back there, but the fake fluorescent lights and TV screens (which do not change; it’s just a still picture) make it almost like a dark news studio in a warehouse. Mixed genres there, bad form. If you’re going to use a green screen, at least have your graphic have taste. Grade: C-.
Five segments: opening remarks, first half highlights, Inside the Program, Great Moments in FSU Football with Burt Reynolds, and second half highlights. There are brief closing remarks at the end.
Opening remarks after losses are either completely gloomy or delightfully funny depending on the coach and depending on if you like the team or not. Count this one in the funny category. Gene, trying to be upbeat, says the FSU program started off “with a bang in the second half” after “Clemson [took] us to task in the first half.” Bobby drops a dadgummit and repeats his line about never seeing the FSU offense play worse. More on this later.
First Half Highlights
No fancy graphics here, but there is a spiral video transition from the “set” to the game footage. Apparently, the Bobby Bowden show is produced on a 5 year old iMac with iMovie 2.
This is where the Bobby Bowden show makes its reputation – game review. Ol’ Bobby has trouble keeping track of his own players names a lot of times, usually just calling them by their numbers. There wasn’t as much as usual in this particular episode, which was disappointing, but it did include statements like “Nice block there by… someone.” Gene and Bobby start by talking about generalities and ignoring the footage, and throughout all of it he’s not sure which plays are next. He also forgot which drive their only field goal of the first half came on, which is remarkable since it came after a blocked punt. Grade: D+
Inside the Program
Your standard garnet-and-spear look for FSU.
Gene’s voice over says it’s your exclusive, all-access pass to FSU football. In actuality, it’s about 40 seconds of Jimbo Fisher working with the quarterbacks at practice. There are some interesting quotes in it though, like “Eyes go, ball goes,” and “Cornerbacks lie, but safeties tell you the truth.” Still, an exclusive, all-access pass? Hardly. Grade: C-
Great Moments in FSU Football with Burt Reynolds
No, I swear, no photoshopping was done to the above picture. Really.
Of every coach show I’ve watched so far, and I’ve watched over half a dozen of them, this is the only show where they bring out a celebrity who went to the school to talk about something that happened years ago. Isn’t there anything that they can talk about that is going on, you know, right now? Apparently this is a feature every other show, and they’ve been doing it for 24 years. The great moment the segment shows Deion Sanders returning a punt for a TD against Clemson.
Let’s review: green screen (again), horrendous green screen graphic, Burt Reynolds shot full of Botox in a Hawaiian shirt, and it has nothing to do with the program today. Grade: D-.
Second Half Review
No Star Wars-style wipes this time, but for the fourth quarter, like the second before it, they have black bars come in to make it look widescreen. I think that’s why they did that, anyway.
It’s just more of the same. Bobby is more upbeat, probably because FSU played a lot better in the second half, but possibly because someone got him some coffee during the last two segments. The widescreen look for the fourth quarter highlights also has the effect of hiding the score and time remaining. At one point he compliments a Clemson player’s coaching, which means he’s complimenting his son without being obvious about it. Clever, Bobby. The same spiral wipe as was used to enter the highlights in the first half was used to leave them in the second. Grade: D+
Embarrassing Commercial Starring the Coach:
Bobby’s version of the Simply Orange commercial. No fist pump, but you do get the gratuitous flash of the national championship ring.
Bobby only had one commercial – for Simply Orange orange juice, just like Urban Meyer. Here, though, it becomes crystal clear why Bobby is the fundraiser and closer extraordinaire for recruiting. He’s a great pitchman; he’s congenial, believable, and has good camera presence. Unfortunately for him, this category is embarrassing commercials starring the coach. Grade: F
Two words: blocking, and tackling.
Grade: A++ for unintentional comedy.
If you’re looking for insight into the FSU program, this is not where you’ll find it. If you want fodder for Bobby’s-too-old jokes, it’s a gold mine. Still, when you watch a coach’s show you’re looking to hear things from the coach that you didn’t from the press conference, why they ran plays when they did, and get an eloquent description of how the coaches view the game. You’ll find none of that here, unless you think “Dadgummit, we just couldn’t play well enough to win” is eloquent. Grade: D+