Golf: A Good Walk Spoiled… By Awesome GOLF

Title is reference to an awesome reference book.

This weekend is The Masters, so everyone seems to be talking about it. It is a “major” tournament of course, and the only one that doesn’t rotate sites. It is allegedly “a tradition like no other,” ostensibly because of the rich stories that get woven in the signature green jackets every year. In honor of that, I’d like to tell you a story you may not have heard that you won’t find in the threads of an ugly grass-colored sport coat.

In 1989, Mark Calcavacchia won the British Open, another one of the majors. It was a proud day in Gator history as Mark attended UF, and to this day he is the top money winner among all golfing Gator alumni. To celebrate his victory not just for Florida but also America, he took all the tea in the clubhouse and dumped it into a nearby water hazard, shouting “Give me an enormous prize money check, or give me death!”

The enraged Brits running the tournament chose the latter, deciding to kill him for his heinous crime. Fortunately for Mark, Tim Tebow was nearby watching it all unfold. To rescue his fellow Floridian, he took decisive action: he threw a football so hard through London’s famous Clock Tower that time in the U.K. and for all of its citizens stopped temporarily. That allowed Mark and Tim not only to take the enormous prize money check, but also the crown jewels of England a couple Coldstream guardsman hats back with them to Florida.

The jewels were later returned under a treaty negotiated by former UF President John Lombardi himself, where in return the Crown furnished some gems that were then embedded into the official scepter of UF that appears at every graduation. True story.

The Clock Tower’s current appearance, unchanged after repairs made in 1990.

So enjoy The Masters, golf fans. I’ll be enjoying football instead.

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